Monday, January 17, 2011

Musings of a New Mother...

(written 01/10/11)
My princess, Sarah, is already over 3 and a half months old... I love every new discovery she makes & every milestone she reaches. My heart swells with love whenever I look at her cherub-like face.. and all I can think about is how very blessed I feel with the gift of her life. I am thankful for every breath she takes, every smile I see, every hug I feel.. I'm truly unable to take her life for granted because I have dear friends who have lost and whose children are very sick - I can only understand their situation by knowing the love that I feel for my sweet baby and the horrible feeling I get whenever 'what ifs' creep into my mind. I know God tells us not to worry, but it has become so difficult with a baby in the house! I don't feel that there's anything special about me that God has allowed us a healthy child, and others not... I can't answer those questions, but I know that God is good & His ways are higher than ours.

Whenever she looks into my eyes, I see the purity of her soul and the love of a child... something I can't truly describe in words, but is felt deeply in my heart. Our relationship is so special and sacred.. a mother and a daughter. I only hope I can teach her well and let her know how cherished and loved she is.

I often find myself holding her in the rocking chair in her nursery... looking at the walls thinking about the prayers and words I would like to cover them with. Her life is a testimony of God's faithfulness and I feel it would be very appropriate to have her surrounded in our prayers... written as well as verbal :) Words that run through my mind the most are the lyrics of the song I sang over her at her baptism in November:

"My sweet baby, on loan from above. No better treasure could I more love. I stand here beside your bed as I pray. I lay my hand on your head as I say...

May you grow up to serve Him all of your days. May He lead you and guide you in all of your ways. May His hand bless your future with friendships that last. May you cherish your youth & not grow up too fast.

I stare in wonder at your tiny frame. Just to think that God knows you by name. He knows every hair on your beautiful head. Knows all your thoughts before they are said..."

Also are the words her little Precious Moments bunny says when you push its tummy:

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May angels watch me through the night and keep me in their blessed sight." Amen

Be blessed & highly favored little one...